More than material:

I was arguing with a friend of mine, Portillo, about whether or not God exists, and I think we got to talking about the soul. Portillo is an ardent atheist, and the biggest fan of Nietszche that I have ever met. He even has his name on the main screen of his mobile. We were in the university dining hall, and he was sitting across the table from me. To my right was Uli, a somewhat easy-going Catholic, and to Portillo's right, Mejillon. Portillo and Mejillon were being kind of mocking about this whole idea of a 'soul', and Mejillon was saying, 'where is it then? Where is my soul?'. Then he started prodding different parts of his body, saying, 'Is it here? Is it here?'. I explained, in faltering Spanish, that the whole point about the soul is that it is not something physical or material, but something spiritual. For that reason you cannot see it or locate it. I imagine that they thought that was pretty stupid. They wanted to know why I believe that I have a soul, if I can't see it. How can I believe in something 'spiritual' like that?

My answer was that I believe I have a non-physical part to my being because I also feel needs and desires that are not strictly physical, and are not satisfied by material things. Often I try and quench those yearnings with physical sensations or stimulation, without success. The writer of Ecclesiastes, part of the Old Testament wisdom literature, exerienced the same. He recounted:

I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
and this was the reward for my labour.
Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.

This man had material riches, earthly success, power, and many women, yet found it all to be empty. After it all, he was not satisfied. Personally, I have felt the same, and I am confident that everyone who is reading this has also done so at some time. You have pursued your desires, but after it all just experienced an incredible emptiness. And you are still looking for something more.

If we are just physical beings - an atomic accident - why do we yearn for things that are more than material? Why, for instance, do we search for love, and not just sex, if our only purpose here is to reproduce our genes. Why are we not just satisfied to play our part in the great atomic march? Why, in fact, do we even talk about satisfaction as something transcendent at all? Somebody probably has an explanation. Nevertheless, I know that I long for something that cell-stimulation cannot provide - I am not a biological accident.

I didn't explain all this to Portillo. He would have fallen asleep in his soup. I just told him that I believe I have a soul because I have non-physical needs and desires. I highlighted love as one of those. At this point, my friend explained that although he is an atheist (like I said, a big fan of Nietszche), he does actually believe in some kind of spiritual Being or Force - though not a creator. I think that's because some things just don't quite make sense without God.

In case you are interested, I offer you the conclusion reached by the writer of Ecclesiastes. The book is a search for meaning in life, and these are the final lines. I hope they will help you:

Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.

Valentines:

It's more than a week late, but I wanted to talk about Valentines. Of the 21 Valentine's Days that I have experienced on this earth, I have spent 20 of them single. The one time I did have a girlfriend, we were not really in the 'functional' stage of our relationship any more. In fact, that may even have been the day she let me know she was thinking about ending it. As I remember it, I was in the office and writing a poem for her, and I screwed up the writing or something. Because of that I was late to meet her; so he was mad at me. Then we went for a walk...

For some people Valentine's Day is a day of excitement and celebration. For others it may be a source of perceived economic hardship (mostly men, I feel). And for some it is probably a day of disappointment or loneliness. All of us want somebody - even the guys that don't like spending money on flowers and chocolate. We all need to be in relationship with other people, and most of us want to be in a romantic relationship too. I do anyway. Love is something incredible that we cannot really explain with science, even though we talk a lot about 'chemistry'. I found this quote from Albert Einstein:

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

I think that's beautiful.

This is me, standing beneath a big waterfall in Mucuy Baja. It was fun, but it hurt. To the side of the waterfall is a little mini-cave. You can stand there and look up at the water gushing down and the sun shining through it. Really, it's amazing.

Luis (Portillo's brother), Jessica, Portillo and Nastassjja by the cascada. They were all absolutely freezing.

Faith and breakfast:

You might be one of those who has always seen 'faith' as a lifestyle option, or as something that helps weak human beings soften the harder edges of life. It's much easier to say to a crying child that their bunny rabbit has 'gone to heaven' than to say that worms are eating it. Perhaps you are like some of my friends, who say, 'I think it must be really good to have something to believe in'. It doesn't really matter what, because faith doesn't have much to do with reality anyway. You may perceive a division between those who have 'a faith', and those who have sanity.

Actually though, I would argue that you already have faith. You already believe in something. You see, the preachers tell us that faith is a lot like trust. I believe that the faith that the bible talks about means believing something and acting upon it. You exercise this kind of faith every day. Who, after all, feeds a little of their breakfast to their dog before eating it, just to make sure that it is safe? Who examines their car brakes every day before they drive to work? Most of us in the developed world don't even think twice about drinking the water that comes from our taps. I'm living in Venezuela, and here it's different. There's a lot more. I'm not being paranoid - I'm just trying to demonstrate that faith is not something mystical and inaccessible. We all have faith and we all exercise it. The issue isn't whether or not you believe, it's what you believe.

Perhaps I am being pedantic. Even Jesus talked about having faith. He talked about 'great' faith and 'little' faith, as though you could measure it. What he was referring to, I think, was faith in God. Every person must choose the extent to which they trust in Him. That includes you. I believe in Jesus Christ; not because doing so makes me feel warm and fuzzy, but because I can't see a better explanation for the reality in which I find myself. There is not enough space here to explore this, but I don't see my faith as illogical or optional. Quite the opposite. As C.S. Lewis said,

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen; not only because
I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

Pete

This is more or less what I look like. I wanted to put the photo on my profile, but every time I try there is something wrong with the URL.

Introduction:

Well I have to admit that I'm kind of new to this and don't exactly know what I'm doing. I just read a friend's blog, for example, and really liked it. So I decided to 'flag' it. I thought that would record the page in 'my favourite blogs' or something. Actually it seems that I reported it three times for objectionable content (nothing happened the first two times). Jon Carter, I'm really sorry. It was an accident.

Anyway, that just shows what an amateur I am at this. In fact, this is my very first 'blog'. I resisted writing one for a long time, because:
1] I thought they were for losers.
2] I hated (and still hate) the word 'blog'.
3] It just seemed to me a waste of time. 'If there are thousands of blogs out there', I thought, 'who the heck is going to read mine?!'. Good question, in fact.

I have finally started, not so much because I think the blogging bandwagon needs my 'genius' on board, but because I am too dumb to create a website. The other reason, of course, is that I like writing and want to express myself. Finally, I do genuinely believe that my words may affect people and perhaps even help them. I hope that as you read these pages (if you read them), you will not just enjoy my writing, but also find something that helps you.

Pete